On Aug 1st 2023, my daughter was admitted to the hospital in Halifax with an extremely rare autoimmune disease caused by a medicine she was prescribed to deal with postpartum anxiety. She started with something called Stephen Johnson’s syndrome which progressed to something much worse called TENs. That disease caused the outer layer of her skin to be attacked by the body and in her case, more than 60% of her body’s outermost layer of skin burst open in a few days.
I’m fairly confirmed in my having “truly heard” Bhagavan Adi Da Samaraj. True Hearing in Adidam refers to a degree of self-understand in which the self-contraction is most fundamentally understood and the ability to become responsible for it has significantly grown. By the time I wrote the post, Conscious Energy & the Echo, “I…
There are times when the motive to move my attention in any direction whatsoever is so weak that I find myself sitting still while waves of love-bliss crash down through me. The madness and stubbornness of my pattern is that a motive forms at all and off I go, leaving Grace in the background…
Deb and I have repeatedly fallen in love in cars. With almost 30 years of time spent together, there have been a number of road trips of various lengths and while a few stand out in my memory, I can’t recall a single trip that wasn’t filled with sweetness.
When I fist listened to a discourse by Adi Da Samraj in the year 2005, the first thing that struck me was His incredible eloquence even in public gatherings while speaking spontaneously. He spoke in polished, essay like, prose that was simultaneously very humorous and understandable while being evocative and precise. He has a…
When feeling this sweet current of Being that is The Beloved and any of my more overt contracted inclinations show up, instead of heading straight off in the direction of the accompanying thoughts like a dog chasing a car, I notice in that moment the blissfulness start to recede or at least become more muted.
Sleeping and dreaming are times of pure “Cage”. I go to bed each night having felt The Beloved all day but when I sleep, it’s back to the “real world” for me. And then, when I wake up, the very first thought is of Adi Da and my immediate action is to do an inventory of His State. Lying in bed initially I can feel Him like a distant memory that becomes fuller once I rise to start my day. By the time I’m upstairs I’ve begun to feel Him more fully…but that’s when the whispers begin: “What if you lose Him?”
”He was much stronger last night. Maybe it’s going to fade away now. Remember not to think. Turn to Beloved! Do what you were doing before, quickly before it’s too late!”
I had been back from my 2007 trip to Naitauba for about a year when Deb told me she wanted a divorce. While there were many signs, I was totally blindsided. The idea that she might leave never really occurred to me. I was remarkably obtuse.
All I recall is that at some point I suddenly realized that the light entering my eye while meditating on Adi Da was so intensely bright and all the details of the entire room became so washed out in that light that it felt almost like I was staring into a light source. It was emanating from Him.
The first time I really noticed Deb was in the spring of 1992. She was wearing a beautiful cotton summer dress with pink, red and blue flowers and she was playing with a little girl in her charge. They were twirling. I was smitten. She was 21 and I was 27.