This post is just a mind dump of words to try to allow a recent insight room to expand in my understanding. From The Ultimate Wisdom of the Perfect Practice Adi Da admonishes, “Consider the current of living energy”. He suggest that when a body feeling arises, we should consider the current of living energy that gives rise to the body feeling and is the body feeling itself.
I recall when I heard these words the first time half a year ago, I could feel the profundity while knowing I didn’t really understand. But earlier today something about this penetrated deeper and a new level of insight began to take shape.
Right now when I look into the room from my “location” as the body mind, I have the sense that my ability to be consciously aware of any object of attention is because the energy that registers in consciousness is the same as that apparent object, even if the object is an experience such as the body feeling. In other words, the body feeling is the current of living energy that I’m consciously aware of and that is the body feeling itself.
I see the room and walls, the colours the shapes the objects and simultaneously feel my body and hear my thoughts. Collectively, this is all “registering” in consciousness. That which is registering is the energy signature of the room, walls, colour, shapes, feeling and shapes simultaneously combining like a complex wave pattern interacting with other complex wave patterns. And the registration in consciousness of the changing patterns of energy is a demonstration of….consciousness itself only.
Adi Da asserts that the current of energy is the feeling itself in consciousness. So this pattern of complex energy is consciousness itself. It’s not that consciousness is having an experience of the pattern of energy. They arise simultaneously and are the same. Identical.
Then it seems this energy which is arising to consciousness gets modified to be seen as the apparent objects I recognize as a TV, pictures, a couch, my hunger and these very words. And this objectification of the prior energy associated with the body-mind is itself registering in consciousness. And this conversion or modification of the prior energy such that it becomes recognizable objects must itself also register in consciousness as its own pattern of energy.
The world of things is like an echo in consciousness. There is always the mere unmodified conscious current that registers, and then the body-mind converts the patterns of energy into the objects that it experiences as itself and the world, and this too registers in consciousness. My body-mind thinks it is a someone but “I am” only an echo of self-contraction.
Adi Da Samraj has been saying this in innumerable ways since the very beginning, but I began to intuit it more fully today.
Right this moment, the entire everything that is registering in my consciousness is itself the energy pattern of whatever is registering. And that “whatever” must be consciousness because that’s how it is “registering” at all. This seems convoluted, even as it seems obvious.
“Attention” seems to land on parts of the pattern (Beloved refers to this as The Grid of Attention) that is registering in consciousness and these parts are then recognized by “A Cage” which is the activity creating the appearance of the entire world of objects through the secondary activity of modifying the prior conscious energy. And I can see how this secondary activity is a layer added after the mere registration in consciousness of its energy.
And I can see how it’s impossible to BE anywhere other than the location where conscious-energy registers, which is consciousness itself. Always Already as Bhagavan says. This then is the Witness Location. This is the Location where the energy of consciousness registers in its unmodified Real condition AND also where it registers when infinitely modified by self-contraction.
But instead of identifying with the prior unmodified conscious energy that is Adi Da, that is The Beloved, and that is The Great One, identification with the secondary modifications of separated body, mind and world is what, “I”, as A Cage actively am.
And yet, this illusion of being myself is so persistent! Just now I closed my eyes, feeling both blissful and a little awed by this recent sequence of notions and insights both verbal and tacit, and yet, the moment my eyes were closed, the world became powerfully real and I wondered if this morning has all been a dream.
About a year ago an adventure of self-understanding began to take root when by Bhagavan’s Grace I felt I understood that all possible experience must be objective to where “I” was located since I can clearly notice all experiences as separate from the place where they were registering. I accepted the notion that there was no more justification for presuming my tastebud’s sensations or my finger’s feelings were “me” any more than the blue sky, mountain and trees were me.
But today, with the force of this new understanding beginning to reach further into the mystery, I realize that what I was really noticing was that the world of objects is a secondary modification of the primary energy of whatever is registering as and in consciousness.
In reality, the body feeling and the room arise simultaneously and without differentiation in consciousness. But then, this current of living energy is noticed as the room and as the body feeling secondarily, as a consequence of self-contraction. So what I hadn’t understood last year while dissociating myself from the objects of attention was that those objects were modifications of the consciousness where “I” was located.
So last year I concluded that there was no more real basis for me identifying with my tastebud’s tastes or fingers’ feelings than there was in identifying with the blue sky and trees on the mountain. Now, the conclusion is that I must be the tastebuds, the fingers, the blue sky, the trees and the mountain as they actually are, conscious energy, prior to noticing them as objects at all.